Hi
I’m Katrin
The black sheep and rebel of the family, masquerading as the good girl
For as long as I can remember, I have been deeply sensitive and interested in the human psyche.
It started off when I served as a pseudo-therapist to my parents. Of course, I unconsciously stepped into this stressful child labour in an attempt to feel deserving of their attention during the many stages of turmoil in their lives..
In an attempt to prove myself, make my dad proud and be the glue that holds their relationship together, I accidentally contorted myself into a societally conditioned mold that would only one day reveal how much I had lost myself.
As a result of my upbringing, I became a proud go-getter, chronic people pleaser, alpha woman and trained perfectionist with a splash of OCD tendencies.
Considering my top tier performance rating at the largest Big 4 accounting firm in the world…
Living out my days as a CPA had me on track for multiple 6 figure years, which seemed like THE DREAM at the time. But not MY dream. Rather, the sure path to fried to a crisp nervous system, following in my sister’s footsteps and claiming my parents’ approval for having ‘made it’ as part of the American Dream they envisioned for us.
I didn’t know it at the time…
But I had been playing out a subtle sense of obligation to make the sacrifices they made to immigrate to Canada ‘worth it’.
Resigning from the corporate career the day before my 25th birthday was a massive reclamation! A quarter life crisis you might say, trading the traditional definition of success for a chance at true fulfillment.
From a pretty high step on the corporate ladder…
I had been slowly replacing my unquenchable thirst to make my parents proud with a much more fulfilling mission – solving a challenge that I had swept under the rug since the exciting age of 18 years old when I found out my vagina didn’t ‘work’.
During my entire schooling and even despite my early professional success, I felt broken. Until the age of 24, I experienced what our society labels as a sexual dysfunction – a protective body response that makes penetrative sex impossible or excruciatingly painful…
Think holding a knife over the fire until it’s nice and hot and then inserting it in your vagina. Yep! A pussy-wrenching private pain indeed, called vaginismus.
In an attempt to forget about all the reasons I considered myself an awful girlfriend and a failure of a woman, I worked even harder at my job.
And I had LITERALLY shut men out for more than 6 years!
You see, on a deeper level..
I had masked my stress and disappointment with high accomplishment.
It seemed like my vagina had spontaneously slammed shut on me during my first ‘sexual debut’, but I discovered that this freeze survival response in my body had been active long before then. Ever since I started feeling unsafe in my body and in the world.
Having my head buried in the books and being in control of things were the ways I survived the emotional chaos in my childhood. Naturally though, the survival strategy I had mastered didn’t serve me well in the most vulnerable experience we can possibly have as women in the world – sex!
In an attempt to ‘fix myself’, I unknowingly caused myself more sexual trauma and kept avoiding feeling my anger and grief in favour of holding it all together.
Even after overcoming vaginismus and building my legacy to help other women do the same..
I was stuck in a way of being focused on doing and then doing more. I pushed my body’s limits, disregarded my intuition and made decisions favouring logic, high performance and productivity.
It would take deep inner work to prioritize joy and nourishment and arrive at the integration of the full spectrum of me.
I needed to relearn how to embody my most authentic, playful and passionate self who makes rest and my emotional needs a priority. Ultimately finding safety in surrender not only within my body and to men, but to life in general. For example..
I had a seemingly perfect on the outside romantic relationship that led me to molding myself until I lost myself..
I was engaged to a man that had been so good to me in all the ways he knew how while fighting his own inner demons. I came face to face with the ripple effects of one’s depression and my own insecurities were knocking on my door louder than ever before.
I was living a comfortable life that was a no-brainer YES on the outside, was physically capable of enjoying all forms of sex like never before, but I was watching ‘This Is Us’ all alone on our big couch wishing that my partner would be more like Jack. A stable presence of love and affection who would make me his priority! Who would hold me, kiss me and speak to me as the most important person in his life.
I later realized that all the ways I was trying to change my partner made it impossible to love HIM, especially through the darkness..
The truth, I was blind to my own role in my happiness. I wasn’t making myself MY priority.
I was focused on building my business, but had let my inner fire and creativity dwindle.
And my partner was unknowingly doing me a favour by triggering me! My frustrations with my relationship were only being brought to the surface because of my own wounding.
I was in a deep initiation that would forever change who I was in the realms of sex, love, relationships AND entrepreneurship.
When I focused on changing inner world, my external circumstances followed.
After 4 years together, I said goodbye to an otherwise wonderful man, an adorable golden retriever, a 40 thousand square foot home near the lake in an entirely new city we had moved to. A house that didn’t feel like a home, but was so tied up into the definition of that American dream I was still chasing. I said goodbye to what felt like certainty and stability at the time.
I followed my heart and flipped the script that women in my family had lived out for generations – tolerating being unhappy for feeling safe.
One of the many gifts of that experience is that it led me on a path of deeper self-awareness and understanding of our shared humanity.
I got curious about what motivates people – what fulfills us or sends us into a dark place, as well as the role of trauma in that mix.
Through a fancy scan, I discovered that my own brain showed traces of PTSD and came to appreciate the helpful role of the survival mechanisms I had been using in each facet of my life, including how I ran my business!
In search for the feeling of freedom, peace and unconditional love, I continued experiencing countless healing modalities and pointing out the common threads among all that ‘worked’, realizing that it was never about the modality after all..
It was about the underlying principles and the magic that was held in the wisdom of the body!
I uncovered layers of truth about what helps us feel safe in the present and free of the shackles of our past.
What unlocks vulnerability in our inner talk and our communication with others. What allows us to feel loved and liberated in our lives.
I continued to share about ‘the panic attack in my vagina’ online..
My story was published in a handful of languages, even reaching my friends and family in Bulgaria!
Being in the depths of my vulnerability and bringing the lessons from my own tribulations into the most fulfilling work of my life, I supported my clients in claiming their sexual freedom.
Overcoming painful sex was one thing, but more than that we celebrated women tapping back into their aliveness!
Falling back in love with themselves and their bodies. Also having their first orgasms, reigniting the spark in their relationships, getting pregnant and growing their families, processing childhood trauma, healing their relationships to God/divinity, trusting themselves and their truth, and confidently finding rest, play and pleasure in their hearts and pussies.
One of my amazing clients even called me The Sex Fairy!
I was making an effortless living doing what I love, taking coaching calls literally from bed, WHILE taking my own sexual liberation even deeper.
I was at the height of my erotic exploration and finally getting the know the full range of the expression of my aliveness, with a man who represented much of what I was so deeply missing earlier.
Only half a year in, my soul calling me away from that connection was yet another opportunity to cultivate closeness amidst pain and find peace in separation.
I spent much of the next year getting to know myself, moving away from the miss independent identity and cultivating deeper trust in my softness and devotion to the masculine.
That’s when I saw a man who had been in my life for 9 years in a new light.
He nervously asked me out on a picnic, wore his heart on his sleeve, made me his number one priority and created the safe space for my most playful self to come alive. He became my Jack. We moved in together into his tiny condo that felt more like a home than my massive house ever had..
In the space between what was and what could be, our relationship was tested big time.
We came face to face with remnants of past heartbreak and deception, addiction, family drama, financial stress and grief. But our love prevailed and we managed to bond rather than break!
On the other side of the storm, we embarked on our next adventure.
He left his desk job behind to take a riskier but more flexible role, we sold our belongings and embarked on a nomadic adventure starting on an island in southeast Brazil. We fed my beach bum ways, satiated his thirst for the mountain life and discovered a more nourishing existence compared to the fast-paced lifestyle we grew up with.
But even in the middle of paradise, I began to feel like I traded my 9 to 5 with a 24/7! I was doing work I love, but found myself attached to doing MORE and doing it BETTER. It was never ‘enough’.
Dropping the ball in my life at least a few times as I ping ponged between rest and overwhelm was the only way to learn to juggle all that was important to me.
To be able to actually enjoy this juggling act for the long-haul, I fortified my inner sense of balance and intentionally burned my business to the ground and rebuilt a slower, more simplified version that made space for the freedom I craved all along. I rose from the ashes, led myself off the beaten path back to my soul’s work and now joyfully walk with YOU as you do the same.
I walk alongside you as you initiate yourself into a disciplined yet nourished business owner. I lift you up as you cultivate a deep sense of trust in life and love and amp up your excitement for what’s to come!
Not by pushing through until exhaustion at the expense of your well-being, relationship and love life.. But by freeing the lover and muse within. Not by sacrificing your aliveness, but by honouring what lights you up! By seeing yourself not only as an entrepreneur, but as a creative!
No more trading deep connection, pleasure and rest for productivity, purpose and wealth. I played that game. I swallowed down my emotions, suppressed my truth and did a stellar job at molding myself into the standard definition of success. Twice! But today I devote myself to liberation, love and leadership.
Today, I invite you to build your legacy, while revolutionizing your relationship to your BODY, your BUSINESS and your ART!
It’s your time to turn your pain into your purpose and to allow your erotic essence to fuel your work as you navigate the next wave of your evolution.
It’s your time to live a life by design rather than by default.
We’re at the cusp of a broader movement that impacts us all.
One centred around increasing the quality of our relationships and the breadth of our impact – the aspects of life that have the highest correlation to fulfillment on our death beds!
That’s why I support you in embodying the part of you who stands for freedom of mind, body and soul and is devoted to living passionately, creatively and abundantly.
I know you can sometimes find yourself soaking in a lukewarm enjoyment of the world, until your fingertips get wrinkly from the staleness of routine.
That why I find joy in guiding you as you release the conditioning that no longer serves you!
So you can truly feel like the talented woman that you are and can confidently walk your unique path of liberation in sex, love, relationships and entrepreneurship.
You deserve to get lost in your art! You deserve to re-discover your unique signature of play, pleasure and purpose, while enjoying the love life and relationship of your dreams.
Because it’s your birthright to enjoy a nourishing balance of purpose, intimacy and deep rest.
To see your sexual liberation as your greatest business strategy!
To discover what it REALLY means to be a woman living against the grain and claiming a life of freedom. You deserve to be in deep devotion to your purpose on the planet, live in a state of turn on and play in your unique creative zone of genius every day. Plus to be paid for it generously!
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I’m not afraid to say ‘I don’t know’ AND you can bet it’s my priority to help you find your own inner truth and live by it.
As the Liberated & In Love Woman that you are.
– Katrin, with Love
P.S. The quantum leaps in my identity and lifestyle would feel incomplete without a mention of the deeper layers of my spiritual and more importantly human awakening that transpired.
Finding a sense of awe with life and love could not have been possible without somatic embodiment work.
Body-based practices allowed me to detach from the fear-based agenda of our society and to shed layers of protective mechanisms, generational trauma and scarcity consciousness that I held in my body.
At the heart of that, I developed a deep trust in my inner alpha and the masculine outside of myself.
I cultivated the capacity to stay present and unwavering despite the wobbles in external circumstances. The inner union between the masculine and the feminine is a large part of what helped me embody the Liberated & In Love Woman within.
My familiarity with all of our self-healing power and divine orchestration with life was greatly strengthened by a handful of reality shifting experiences.
Journeys inward through meditation, breathwork, tantric practices, subconscious programming, neurogenic muscle tremoring, as well as training in energy healing, subconscious belief change processes (PSYCH-K®), Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE®), remote viewing and psychedelics were at the core of those.
With these practices serving as valuable mirrors, I processed layers of trauma and experienced the most visceral challenging of the ego that I can only describe as temporary ego death.
I solidified my trust in the wisdom of the body, the divine timing of life and took away an experiential knowing of inexplicable oneness and love that unites us all.
