Honestly Katrin, It Feels Like A Dream

Vaginismus is a very private struggle. At first I thought I was the only one that was going through this and I didn’t even know what vaginismus was..

I felt abnormal and while all my friends were enjoying their sex life and speaking to me of their experiences, I was miserable not knowing what’s wrong with me and I hated myself.

By the grace of God I found you while searching for answers on the internet since I had no one else to turn to.

And today, I’m so so excited to tell you that I’ve overcome vaginismus by the grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Miracles do happen!!

You’ve helped me through this process in ways that I cant even begin to explain. The very thought of knowing that I have you by my side as a friend to ease my uncertainties at any hour knowing that you’ve been through it and you’re an overcomer yourself, has made all the difference in my journey to overcome vaginismus. You are God given and I wish I can do more than just an email thanking you.. You’re my best friend on this and some day I can only hope to return the huge favor.

This is how it went…

I started dilating more than a year ago but only made it to number 2 then stopped for a long while.. I recently started dilating again but I didn’t go pass number 2. Anyway, after I think 2 weeks of using number 2 I stopped again for a week or so. Then I was messing around with my husband one day when he said let’s try…

So I laughed and told him that he’s to big for me because I’m only on number 2, but as we were fooling around I let him try and we ended up having penetrative sex! Entering was a little painful and there was a burning sensation but the whole thing went in and we actually had PIV sex for the first time!

I was so excited so again that night I wanted to do it and it happened. Still, entering hurt a little but once he’s in I don’t feel pain.

The next day we had sex again and I had an orgasm for the first time in my life and wow.. I never want to stop having sex.

Up until now when he enters it hurts a little but it goes away as soon as he’s in fully and then it starts to feel nice.. I do use lots of lube but maybe as we go along that pain will go away I’m not sure but I don’t mind it.

I’ve spent so many years miserable and unworthy of having my husband, but.. JESUS Heals!! I truly believe that He has answered my prayers, I have read many stories and no one has overcome vaginismus by dilating with just the first 2 dilators, there’s people that struggle to transition from number 5 to sex.. This is God and I would also encourage people to pray, because Jesus heals!!

My husband was the one dilating me, so mentally that became a safe space for me which resulted in the anxiety leaving. So for married women that are struggling with this, I would tell them to get their husbands involved. It makes a difference. 

Honestly Katrin, it feels like a dream, I can’t believe that I’m able to have sex really.. Even reading your reply to my email, it’s like wow, Katrin’s telling me to enjoy sex.. Me! 

Again, thank you for reaching out and being so helpful regarding this.. You made me feel like I’m not alone in a time where I wasn’t able to turn to anyone. Thank you so much for always encouraging me, you were more than just a beacon of hope and I’ll always appreciate you. 

God richly Bless you for the wonderful person that you are. You don’t just advise people of how to overcome vaginismus, you’re apart of the whole experience, no one else would ever do this! 

Thank you for going through this with me even though I was a complete stranger.. You have a heart of gold to be able to do what you’re doing. 

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!

– Anonymous (26 years old, South Africa)