I am someone who has never used a tampon or had any vaginal checkups before my marriage.
I got married in 2017 and had a very painful experience when I and my husband tried for PIV sex for the first time. It was very painful during penetration and penetration was almost impossible. I told my mom about this experience and she told me the sex is painful for the first time. And this painful experience had a great impact on me…
At that point in time I never really know what vaginismus was! I found out about vaginismus when I was randomly searching for the reason for painful sex. But I barely thought that I could have vaginismus.
We tried for PIV sex a few more times during our first year of marriage and penetration was impossible every time.
I cursed myself for not being like every other regular woman who enjoys sex and finds it’s a cakewalk for them. I started going to grad school in 2018 and my husband was in a different city with his job. So, we never really spoke about PIV sex for the next year. After my graduation, I started to stay with my husband and by that time we knew it was really an issue and I need a doctor visit.
So, I made an appointment with gynaecologist and explained her my situation, she gave me the dumbest answers like I am too young to take up sex (my inner voice, SERIOUSLY, I am 26 years old) and she suggested some numbing creams, suggested me to take wine and also said there will be chances that I need to go with some SURGERY.
I was all over the place, started crying and was asking my husband to leave me as I am not any worthy to have him.
He has been supportive during that phase and told me if I cannot deal with PIV sex, he is okay to not have PIV sex for his life. We then visited a psychiatrist to see if it’s some kind of psychological problem. By that time, I researched a lot about vaginismus and some pelvic exercises. I asked her about pelvic exercises, and she said these exercises won’t work for me. I felt more depressed after that visit.
My husband and I thought of using dilators, so I got the first 3 sizes of dilators and a vibrator. For almost a week we did the dilating practice and I was able to make it up to 3rd dilator and after which it was again very painful to insert the 4th one.
I again gave up for almost a year and then I found her Instagram page @vaginismus.sisters. I was a silent follower of this page for almost a month and then messaged Katrin with few questions and then set up a one-to-one session with her on January 2nd 2020.
I told her my situation and how I am not able to go upsize in dilating and she suggested me the pelvic wand and believe me it worked like magic.
She also told me about her online guidance, I invested and went ahead and implemented the dilating guidance during my dilating practices. I did my dilating practice every day and was able to upsize to 5th dilator within 20 days!
I then realized I was contracting my hip muscle which is the reason for impossible penetration and started to do stretching exercises and breathing practices and was able a take my hip muscle under my control.
After dilating with 5th dilator for a week, I wanted to give it a try for PIV sex and I followed my daily practice of doing some massage with the pelvic wand, dilate with 4th dilator and 5th dilator and PIV sex with my husband.
On the very first try, I was able to have complete penetration which is a great achievement for me and after the 3rd try, we had complete PIV sex!!
The whole journey was almost 2.5 years with 2.4 years of doing my own research. I made some mistakes, wasn’t sure what to do… But with one month of proper guidance with Katrin I overcame my vaginismus within a MONTH!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH KATRIN for your help and suggestions. This means a lot to me. Apart from my partner, I wasn’t able to discuss this with anyone until I found you..
And I hope others feel nothing is impossible! Everyone can overcome this fear with proper guidance and commitment!
As the cherry on top, I am very excited to share this happy news – my husband and I were blessed with a baby boy on November 9th 2020!! I started 2020 with vaginismus, had a one-to-one session with Katrin on January 2nd and I never imagined I will be able to start a family this soon.
Thank you Katrin for all the support in my journey of overcoming vaginismus!
– Sowmya (27 years old, Frankfort, USA)
