Intimidated By Dilators? Start With These

Imagine you’re here because you’ve heard of dilators..

But quite frankly wish you hadn’t..

Not only because they’re associated with an incredibly tough journey that your body has forced you to embark on, but also because they don’t seem welcoming or pleasant in any way!

Yeah, dilators don’t give out that cute or playful vibe.

They can be incredibly intimidating!

And they’re meant to be helpful…

But what’s true is that your first exposure to dilators in real-life could have actually done more harm than good.

The dilators I used in my journey were awful. Firstly, they were plastic and that’s a big no-no. As well, the set I had included one item that REALLY scared me. The “sleeve”, which looks like a massive Ford truck’s tire… But see-through.

A humongous, rugged and hard-rubber contraption that I was sure meant to give me nightmares.

A humongous, rugged That THING is included in a dilator set that is SUPPOSED to give me HOPE? Who designed it? “Definitely not someone who has experienced vaginismus”, I thought.

After that first encounter I kept those dilators hidden in darkness for weeks. First impressions really are important. (Yes, I judged based on looks…) And because first impressions do matter, it’s important to create a nourishing experience for yourself. Not only with how you use dilators which is of course an important piece of the puzzle..

But also WHICH dilators you choose to work with.

Today I want to tell you about a set on the market that’s unique from all the rest.

I believe that it’s one of a kind and is especially valuable for anyone who feels more than a little intimidated by the idea of inserting anything inside of their body.

The reason why I say that is because..

This dilator set is THE MOST inviting set that I’ve come across.

Introducing the She-ology™ 5-Piece Wearable Vaginal Dilator Set!

👈 It looks like this!

What makes it unique?

All dilators in the set are SIGNIFICANTLY shorter in length than a standard set.

Though I don’t recommend to keep a dilator in while moving actively (like while doing things around your home), I think it’s great that they’re wearable so you can comfortably keep a dilator inside without holding it with your hand and of course while maintaining a relaxed state.


The set is slightly curved, making it a tool that you can use ALSO for trigger point release, similar to the Inspire kit), as well as potentially easier to insert as they mimic the natural curve of the vaginal canal.

Here’s what I have to report about the She-ology™ 5-Piece Wearable Vaginal Dilator Set!

Number of Dilators

This set is made up of 5 dilators.

In case you’re not familiar, 4 sizes is the least and 8 sizes is the most you’ll find on the market for a full dilator set.

A set includes dilators that gradually increase in size to allow for a comfortable and a smooth experience as you progress with your dilator training.

But the number is not most important when it comes to dilators.

Dilator Sizes

This is THE most important attribute.

Diameter is the most important measure when talking about size because it determines how much your pelvic floor muscles need to stretch in order to allow the dilator into your vaginal canal.

Typically, the difference in length of the dilator isn’t AS important since the larger dilators are long enough so you can choose what length of the dilator to insert.


This system is like a hammock of muscles and ligaments that attaches to 4 trees – the pubic bone in the front, the sit bones on both sides, and the tailbone at the back.

Unlike other dilator sets that get longer with each size, in the She-ology™ 5-Piece Wearable Vaginal Dilator Set the length of each dilator stays quite consistent.

As you can see, each dilator is about the length of the size 1 dilator of a typical 8 piece dilator set. (Sizes 1 and 8 of the Intimate Rose set are shown above for comparison.)

So let’s talk about diameter.

The diameters of all sizes are as follows:

  • Size 1: 0.53 inches (The dilator manufacturer I mentioned, Intimate Rose, has its first
  • Size 2: 0.74 inches (the Intimate Rose Size 2 dilator is 0.7)
  • Size 3: 0.85 inches (the Intimate Rose Size 3 dilator is 0.83)
  • Size 4: 0.97 inches (the Intimate Rose Size 4 dilator is 0.95)
  • Size 5: 1.18 inches (fitting between the Intimate Rose Size 6 at 1.07 and size 7 at 1.3)

The tip of each dilator in this kit starts off with a smaller diameter, and the full diameter listed above is reached at about a quarter length of each dilator. This allows for a gradual stretch effect with the insertion of each dilator, which I found to be more comfortable and less overwhelming.

However, the tapered tip is not realistic compared to the penetrative sex experience you’re working towards. That’s why it would be important to use another rounded tip dilator or dildo (that is also a longer length) as part of your transition to PIV sex – simply to help yourself get used to the realistic shape.

It’s really great that this set’s smallest dilator is as small as possible (the same size as the industry standard of an 8-piece set).

And it’s also nice that at the base of the largest two dilators of the set, there is a hole making them mostly hollow on the inside. This allows for the insertion of a bullet vibrator.

Why is vibration helpful in this practice, you ask?

Soothing vibration, in combination with gentle pressure, helps to improve circulation and relax the pelvic floor muscles for more effective healing and pain relief.

Studies show that vibration assists not only in reducing pain but improving blood flow in muscles, which is beneficial in healing and restoring muscle function.

So this feature may help speed up your process!


It’s important to remember that you don’t have to be able to insert all dilators to achieve success with your dilator training. The largest dilator you should aim to insert, if sexual penetration is your goal, is the size of your partner’s penis.

This would mean that you would want to invest in a tool of a larger length and size than is available in this particular set!

And of course..

If inserting a tampon is what you’d like to achieve, then you may only need to practice with just the first two sizes of the She-ology™ 5-Piece Wearable Vaginal Dilator Set.


This is the second most important attribute.

The dilators are made from body safe silicone, with no fragrances or phthalates.

This is what you should be looking for. And it’s not plastic!

Feel of Material (Touch)

The 2 types of feel of silicone dilators are a matte-like feel and a glossy-like feel.

Glossy-like feel of the silicone makes the dilators a bit sticky to the touch. It feels as though you’re holding a tennis racquet, the grip of which is designed to avoid it slipping out of your hand. Or as though you’re letting a slip-proof phone case rest on your palm – as you angle your hand slightly, it doesn’t slip out easily.

The dilators by Soul Source have this glossy-like feel.

On the other hand, the She-ology™ 5-Piece Wearable Vaginal Dilator Set has a matte-like feel of the silicone, which makes them silky smooth and soft to the touch.

When you run your fingers along the surface, it’s as though you’re touching a silk-like texture. The dilator can slip around your palm and fingers effortlessly.

When running your fingers along the bare dilators, this difference IS significant to the touch.

With this tactical experience of both types of dilators, you may already make some assumptions.

You may assume that having a silk-like silicone will be smoother and more comfortable during insertion into your vaginal canal, rather than the glossier, stickier alternative.

This seems logical…

And I tested if this is the case in practice.

The first step was putting lube on the dilators.

When you cover both dilators with a liberal amount of lube (highly recommended for dilator training), pre-insertion, the difference between the dilators disappears fully. You only feel the lubricant that covers the surface of the silicone, so both the glossy and matte-like silicone feel the exact same.

It’s important to note that as the dilators are being inserted and remain inside your body, the lubricant naturally gets absorbed by your skin and therefore comes off of the dilator.

As the lubricant layer rubs off, the matte vs glossy-feel of the silicone becomes prominent once again.

I know this because after I took out the dilator from my vaginal canal, I sensed the matte-like and glossy-like feel again, this time just unevenly covered in a thin layer of lubricant (whether the original one, or my body’s natural lubrication).

But is there a difference in the two textures of the dilators while inside the body?

During insertion, in and out movement and trigger point release, I personally didn’t notice the matte-like vs the glossy-like feel of the silicone to feel much different while inside my body.

HOWEVER, whether you can tell the difference between the smooth and silky textures depends on a few major factors, like what lubricant you’re using, whether your body creates enough additional natural lubrication and EVEN how delicate your skin is.

You may notice that the glossy-like feel of the silicone is less comfortable if you are using a hypo-osmolar or hyper-osmolar lubricant instead of an iso-osmolar one, you don’t have enough additional natural lubrication, and if you have delicate skin.

Vulva owners who have sustained tears giving birth and who have undergone radiation to the vaginal tissue have highly sensitive and delicate skin respectively.

As per Dr. Amanda, President of Intimate Rose, the matte-like finish of their dilators was specifically used to protect delicate skin and sensitive scar tissue in the perineum and inside the vagina.

I haven’t yet given birth and other than having had vaginismus, I haven’t had any other injury to the pelvic floor to result in tearing, sensitive scar tissue or otherwise delicate skin. So I’m afraid I cannot vouch for this myself.

I can only say that if you have sensitive and delicate skin for any reason and you’re not using an iso-osmolar lubricant, you MAY find the the glossy-like feel of the Soul Source dilators uncomfortable.

At the same time, Soul Source actually had the matte-like finish of their dilators in the past, but switched to the glossy-like finish as they found that people prefer it for its appearance and ease of cleaning.

Feel of Material (Flexibility)

The She-ology™ 5-Piece Wearable Vaginal Dilator Set is more flexible than the typical set, though it can’t be super flexible due to its short length of course.

The Blush Novelties set is most flexible and the BioMoi set is the second-most.

So what kind of flexibility should you be looking for?

More flexible dilators increase your comfort during dilator training. That’s why the rigid plastic set I used was extremely uncomfortable and unforgiving.

On the other hand…

Since dilators are meant to create some resistance against your pelvic floor muscles (and can also be used for trigger point release), it’s important that they are firm enough to be able to effectively apply pressure.

In other words, you can’t put pressure on a tomato using a feather!

It’s just too delicate!


I haven’t yet run into a set that is too flexible to make dilating ineffective… SO the attribute of flexibility is important for comfort, and isn’t a deal breaker when it comes to efficacy!


This set is pretty.

Although aesthetics don’t seem to be very important, there are a few practical aspects of nice-looking dilators.

For example, I find that a colour differentiation between sizes makes it easier to identify and remember which one you should pick up during your dilator training.

The worst would be trying with a size too large and getting disappointed with yourself, only to realize that you were trying to insert the wrong dilator!

So it’s nice that you can tell these apart easily.

Ease of Cleaning

I find these dilators easy to clean.

When it comes to cleaning, it’s important to clean and dry any intimate tool or toy thoroughly, as bacteria CAN grow on damp surfaces.

In your drying, I recommend that you to pay special attention to contours in the silicone, if any. The She-ology™ 5-Piece Wearable Vaginal Dilator Set is fully smooth – the dilators do not have any added contour.

Place of Manufacturing

The She-ology™ 5-Piece Wearable Vaginal Dilator Set is designed in the USA and manufactured elsewhere.


The set doesn’t come with a pouch to store them in, so you may want to find ideally a cloth pouch to keep them cool and dry.

Price (in USD)

The full 5-piece dilator set is only $70.

But THE most affordable set out there is 55!

And if you did want to get each size individually from a company like Soul Source for example, you’re looking at between $18 and $55 PER dilator.

And I’ve partnered with Betty’s Toy Box to provide you with a 10% discount! Just use code KATRINWITHLOVE at checkout.

Also, I’ve been sure to do my research thoroughly and objectively, so you can read about my reviews of other dilator sets here:

So it’s safe to say that…

Dilators can be intimidating, BUT more inviting options DO exist!

As well…

I’ve put together detailed guidance designed to take you through the dilating process at the right pace, to avoid pain and finally break the cycle of pain!

To your comfortable dilating experience!

– Katrin, with Love