As a fellow vaginismus sister..
Even for a little bit, you may not have had a sex life that WASN’T riddled in pain and disappointment.
You may not have had a chance to enjoy sex that didn’t involve tears streaming down your cheeks and you holding your partner close to your body so he doesn’t see you weeping silently.
You may not have had a love life that you genuinely looked forward to.
As such, it’s very likely that even as you imagine the days when you ARE having pain-free penetrative sex, you find it hard to believe that you’ll REALLY enjoy it.
It’s likely that you’ll assume there will still be aspects of your love life that you won’t be excited about!
Personally, that disbelief that sex is going to be 100% amazing was very much alive within me. Heck, I couldn’t even grasp how penetrative sex would ever not be excruciatingly painful, let alone pleasurable! So of COURSE I had reservations that my love life was going to be all roses, butterflies and orgasms.
SO perhaps you too hold these reservations.
Worries that vaginal penetration will start to hurt again.
Or more simply, that things will get stale. That you’ll get BORED, eventually.
That your desires won’t quite match up to your partner’s and he will want to explore and experiment in realms that just aren’t what you’re wanting out of your love life. That in the attempt to satisfy him, you won’t be fulfilled in your own authentic erotic language!
Those reservations are completely normal.
AND a less than satisfying sex life is the reality for many women unfortunately, even those that never experienced vaginismus!
On the boredom factor, let me put it this way..
The reality is that IF on the days that your partner cooked for you, he made mac and cheese every time. You would enjoy it for the first while..
But eventually you’d stop looking forward to mac and cheese!
It’s the same with sex.
If you don’t add some variety to the mix (and especially if we don’t get fed in in your unique erotic language), sex will start to feel like something you either do out of obligation, or you decide to skip altogether.
EVEN if it’s no longer painful!
Hence, you’ve got to be intentional with the way you give yourself permission to PLAY in your love life. You’ve got to give yourself permission to have fun and spend time away from the mundane.
One option for that is with some secretive shared pleasure between you and your partner! Think sitting beside your partner with his hands down his pants and being pleasured in a silent study area at a library.
Another option is with the help of a sex toy! If sex toys haven’t been part of your toolkit yet, just adding that to the bedroom could be enough.
And if you’re looking to take it one thrill level higher (just like I did on my second year anniversary with my partner), let me offer you a combination of the two – using a sex toy secretively, in public.
Introducing..
The We-Vibe Jive 2 – a wearable toy that your partner can control from a remote, or his phone!
Please note that this is a toy to look forward to for when vaginismus is firmly in your past.
Having a toy like this inside of you for too long can be the equivalent of standard kegel exercises and UNLESS you’re at the stage when your pelvic floor is in need of strengthening more than relaxing, these can prove to be counter-productive in your pelvic floor relaxation efforts! You can read about that here.
Hence at the right timing for you, the We-Vibe Jive 2 can prove to be for spicing up your sex life and bringing some secretive pleasure to the mix!
The way that you use this pleasurably contoured toy (designed to stimulate the G-‘spot’) is literally by holding the toy with the flexible handle facing forward and up and inserting the bulbous part inside of your vagina.
Then getting dressed and going about your plans with your partner. Whether at home or out, wearing this toy makes you susceptible to surprise vibrations at any moment, controlled by a remote or directly through the We-Vibe app.
It’s called Secret Joyride for a reason!
Let’s explore how it works.
Vibrations
The We-Vibe Jive 2 has 10 vibration modes and my favourite is 8, Ramp.
Ease of Use
Here are some technicalities of how to connect and use the app:
First, make sure that the toy itself is in pairing mode by pressing the power button for 5 seconds – this will have the toy vibrate twice and a blue light will flash.
Follow the prompts on the We-Connect™ app and voila, you’re ready to play!
The Bluetooth connection works from 30 ft. away (when there’s a direct, line-of-sight) and about 20 ft. of a 360-degree range. I didn’t have any difficulties connecting to the toy and keeping up the connection from opposite corners of a 2 story house!
So what can you do on the app?
You can swipe up and down to increase the intensity of the current vibration on the We-Vibe Jive 2 and swipe left and right to change vibration modes.
You can ALSO vibe to the rhythm of a song, or the sounds around you by choosing the ambient mode! I was impressed with how well the beat of the music got recognized and transferred as a vibrating musical experience!
As well, you can create your own vibration directly in the app!
One way is using the touch screen to literally create the vibrations you want real-time. The intensity levels can be turned up or down using the controls on the screen, as well as based on how fast you swipe on the screen!
Yeah, kind of like that!
(Except you can also set your maximum intensity directly in the app to make sure that things don’t get too overwhelming!)
AND you can take the DJ mixing approach – you choose the vibe types from the menu as well as the intensities you’d like.. And you stack them up to create your own go-to vibration mixtape.
And how do you naughtily involve your partner if they’re not in proximity to you?
Just have your partner download the app, invite them through your app and they’ll get to be the master of the vibrations from afar!
Just make sure you leave the toy connected to the phone that remains within Bluetooth range of the vibrator.
Overall..
This can be a really fun way for them to randomly tease you with pleasure throughout the day, or for you to take phone sex to a whole new level!
Top tips:
- If you’d like to be pleasantly surprised throughout your day, just make sure that your sleep mode is extended so it keeps your We-Vibe Jive 2 on standby for up to 4 hours before entering into sleep mode.
- Tell your partner not to blast you with a high intensity vibration right off the bat (unless you want to jump up in your chair if you get startled easily, like many of us do)!
You can ALSO text or video chat with your partner, directly within the app (if you’re comfortable with sharing your private texts and videos on a third-party app of course)!
All in all, I am thoroughly impressed with the breadth of options this vibrator has, as made possible by the app!
Ease of Cleaning
The We-Vibe Jive 2 is waterproof, making it easy to clean (and use in the shower or bath if that’s your thing!)
However, the remote controls are NOT water resistant!
Ease of Charging
It comes with a magnetic USB charging cable that easily stays on. As well, a light serves as an indictor in the charging process.
Material
It’s made of medical grade silicone.
Aesthetics
It’s a pretty-looking pleasure partner. It comes only in the pink colour and there’s an organic cotton bag included to store it in!
Discreetness
When it’s inside, you can barely hear the vibrations of the toy. The higher risk (or benefit perhaps) is hearing any of your pleasure noises actually!
I find that being discreet is especially important for this toy, given it must stay incognito in certain more public locations!
Price (in USD)
The We-Vibe Jive 2 retails for $129, which is among the high-price point toys at LoveHoney. Considering its high-tech nature, I can see why the higher financial exchange!
What do you think about the trying the We-Vibe Jive 2?
Here’s to your secretive pleasure!
– Katrin, with Love
