Exploring the pleasure potential of your body is a huge part of the path to overcoming vaginismus and claiming your sexual liberation!
From the 3 Pillars of Putting Vaginismus In Your Past:
- Compassionate Emotional Processing
- Discovering Your Authentic Sexual Self
- Physical Releasing And Relaxation
The second pillar all about your unique erotic wiring is often overlooked by our traditional medical community..
It’s no wonder – we all grew up in a shame-steeped culture around sex and pleasure and unfortunately many of our medical professionals continue to pass along this conditioning to their patients!
Other medical professionals may speak about pleasure, but often take pleasure out of the equation for the entire physical process to overcoming painful sex that they recommend.
We often hear that recommendation of ‘dilate once a day and just let your muscles stretch out’, with no mention of relaxation and pleasure practices as a form of preparation and enjoyment during!
As though any arousal should only be kept for the ‘end of the journey’ when a partner and potentially a penis are involved..
Time and time again, my personal experience as well as years supporting fellow vaginismus sisters have proven that infusing PLEASURE into gentle penetrative practices is very necessary on the road to PLEASURABLE penetrative sex.
Any form of pleasure should be welcomed as a FUN stepping stone on the path from painful to pleasurable penetrative sex!
So How To Add More Sexual Pleasure To Your Life?
Especially if exploring your body was never encouraged in your life and self-pleasure was looked down upon (hello cultural, societal, familial and religious conditioning!), you might experience quite a bit of resistance to experimenting with your arousal.
That’s why it’s important to invest time in the compassionate emotional processing steps of your journey and then consider a few priorities in your pleasure adventures:
- Exploring pleasure externally, before adding any expectation of penetration!
- Feeling pleasure in a way that is supportive of full body relaxation
The first speaks to taking all pressure off when it comes to reaching those final penetrative intimacy goals you have for yourself.
And the second principle is important because not all forms of pleasure are created equal!
Have you had a pleasure build-up that also looked like a whole lot of contraction in your body? THAT kind of hold-your-breath-and-tense-your-muscles pleasure wave is NOT supportive to full body relaxation!
In order to allow for your pelvic floor muscles to relax, it’s crucial that you can experience sexual arousal and full body relaxation in tandem (with full awareness and control of your pelvic floor muscles).
And THAT is a skill.
Of course, you can use your own hand, any sensation item, or even just your fantasy to help with that.. When it comes to sex toys though, I’ve noticed that intensely stimulating ones can make it much harder to maintain that full body relaxation alongside the pleasure build-up.
If you want to practice this dynamic (and especially if you’re new to using sex toys), it’s wise to start off with something that creates..
Subtle Sensations And A Slower Pleasure Wave Upwards
For that, a toy that uses pleasure air (air pressure) technology is an amazing option.
It literally uses the movement of air at different pressures and directions to creates a suction and gentle massage sensation. A fluttering sensation different from the typical vibrator.
These kinds of toys are extremely gentle and tend to avoid unnecessary irritation on the skin of the vulva – as I wrote about here, this air pleasure technology is especially fitting for anyone experiencing pelvic pain and specifically vulvodynia!
This is EXTREMELY different than any vibrations that are created by the toy moving side to side, or oscillations created in and out movement. And that’s why these kinds of toys have made such a big impression all over the world!
Even just based on the shape, you might recognize the ORIGINAL creators of pleasure air technology – the Womanizer brand.
And to remind you of what these babies look like, here is their latest creation..
The Womanizer Next.
Aside from it being incredibly comfortable to hold and operate due to its ergonomic shape..
The shape and size of the Womanizer Next also allows for that clitoral stimulation to be really concentrated, rather than broad all around the vulva.
This means you can pinpoint EXACTLY where the teasing and build-up of pleasure will happen, but still in a gentle way. And I think this is a large part of the high orgasmic potential for this toy.
Before I share some more of the details about the toy, let me just say that its ‘Next’ title is very fitting – it’s truly ‘next level’. And this is why.
I’ve shared quite a few of my firsts with you in this space..
My first emotional release experience during a massage – you can read about it here..
My first experience using a vibrator (check it out here)..
My first G-spot (and first ejaculatory) orgasm, which was my first orgasmic experience at THAT level of intensity and surrender.. (Here.)
And now..
Thanks to the Womanizer Next, I get to tell you about my first non-penetrative ejaculatory orgasm, which I consider to be the most releasing and relaxing kind or orgasm that I’ve experienced.
That’s right.
Considering I had only experience ejaculatory/squirting orgasms that were penetrative (through stimulation of the G-area), I didn’t see this non-penetrative orgasm ‘cumming’.
But man, am I glad it caught me off guard.
You can read about the typical urge to pee associated with this type of orgasm here.. And this one was no different – I felt like I was going to pee myself as the pleasure erupted out of me in the most intense yet satisfying of ways that also brought such a deep sense of relaxing and blissful afterglow.
Pleasure Modes
Just like my first ejaculatory experience..
I believe the reason I squirted this time was because of the really slow and steady (yet varied) nature of pleasure build-up that the Womanizer Next created.
The other secret is what seemed to be the INTUITIVE nature of its pleasure air technology!
I hadn’t read about the specifications of this toy before trying it and so after turning it on, I put it against my clitoris and let it return the favour.
I can confidently say that it did the rest and I didn’t even need to continue playing with the buttons!
It automatically took me up and down the pleasure wave almost as if it read my mind! Speeding up and slowing down as necessary, changing up patterns just at the right times.
It was only after when I read the box that I realized it not only has 3 levels of depth of the pleasure air waves and 14 intensity levels, but it also has an autopilot mode which I must have been ‘riding’.
The other thing that surprised me when it comes to the built-in intelligence of this toy is that it is completely silent (as in seemingly off) UNTIL the toy touches your skin. As soon as you take it off your body, it stops right away and this takes the whisper quiet noise down to a complete silence.
Especially after an orgasm, this is most useful.
Isn’t it quite annoying to fiddle with the buttons to turn a toy off when all you want to do is feel the afterglow of your orgasm?
The other thing you can do with the Womanizer Next is hold the ‘-‘ button to enjoy even more of that pleasure wave downwards with a really gentle come-down instead of taking the toy away completely.
If you’re not already sold on the gentle approach this toy takes, as well as the deeply relaxing experience it allows for..
Let’s take a closer look at its other features.
Ease of Use
This toy has 5 buttons: power, + and – for the 14 speeds, a button for the 3 depths and my favourite – autopilot mode.
Though there are a few more buttons than the typical toy, I found it really easy to use, especially because most of the buttons are located exactly where your fingers land when you naturally hold the toy.
AND it comes with an extra stimulation head of a slightly different shape to accommodate a wider variety of vulva shapes.
Ease of Cleaning
The Womanizer Next is waterproof, making it easy to clean (and use in the shower or bath if that’s your thing!)
Ease of Charging
It comes with a magnetic USB charging cable that easily stays on. As well, a light serves as an indictor in the charging process.
Material
It’s made of medical grade silicone.
Aesthetics
It’s a pretty-looking pleasure partner. It comes in purple, green and black colour options.
And there’s an organic cotton bag included to store it in!
Discreetness
Who doesn’t love a ridiculously discreet toy?
This toy is THE quietest toy I’ve come across.
The biggest reason this is a nice feature is so you could allow yourself to breathe and down-regulate your nervous system without an annoying buzzing sensation that can make relaxation challenging.
Price (in USD)
The Womanizer Next retails for $239, which is among the high-price point toys at LoveHoney. Considering its high-tech nature, I can see why the higher financial exchange!
Finally…
I’ve heard negative feedback about the name of this toy, and I agree that the word ‘woman’ is not inclusive of those vulva-owners who do not identify as women.
At the same time…
Society has created a negative connotation of the word ‘pussy’ as well, since it’s become synonymous with ‘weak’ or ‘cowardly’. Just as we can reclaim our feminine power in the word ‘pussy’, I think the beauty is in the eye of the beholder when it comes to any word. ‘Womanizer’ included.
In other words, if you choose a term to be hurtful, it will be.
That choice of interpretation is the power that YOU hold.
What do you think about the topic?
And would you give the Womanizer Next a shot as your pleasure partner?
Here’s to your next-level orgasms!
– Katrin, with Love
