I should have known something was different when I couldn’t put the tampon in.
I thought that maybe I was just scared or uncomfortable with the whole thing. Thank you, shame!
As time went on, I would try tampons again.
Maybe I grew out of it?
I did not.
It wasn’t some failing on my part – it was a medical condition called vaginismus. I wouldn’t have a name for this until my first trip to the gynaecologist at 25.
I had been putting it off since I knew it would hurt. I nervously panted up the stairs to the doctor’s office and checked in, nervous about what was about to happen to me, but wanting answers.
I told the doctor that I’m scared that it is going to hurt and she does something I know many other doctors don’t do: she believed me.
She treated me with care and curiosity, asking me more about the experience in my body.
She diagnosed me with vaginismus.
The pap smear hurt, but she did everything she could to make sure I was as comfortable as I could be.
When I read Bonnie Gross’s script for Lady Parts, I knew I had to direct it from Page 1. It started with a young girl trying to put a tampon in.
I saw myself and all those frustrating moments where my body wouldn’t cooperate. I saw all the missed lake days with friends. I saw a version of myself that had seen the movie we were going to make and felt seen.
From an artistic standpoint, our team made choices to highlight the pain and solitude that can come from vaginismus. The DP Olaa Olabi and I liked to call this “uncomfortable framing”.
We would put our main character in the corner of the frame with either barely any headroom or far too much. It would look “off” and make the viewer feel trapped and uncomfortable, just like the character.
Another choice we made was around nudity.
We decided to desexualize the nudity in our film, showing the most skin when something medical is happening.
During the many sex scenes, we don’t see any nudity. We wanted to show that the female body isn’t inherently sexual and we also wanted viewers to focus on the main character Paige’s feelings during the intimate scenes and less on the acts themselves.
Another rule we made for ourself in moments of intimacy on screen was to only show Paige’s face during moments of intimacy. We don’t cut to a wide, inserts, or any reaction from a man. It’s all about her. It’s her story. We so rarely focus on female pleasure, that I wanted this film to ONLY be about her pleasure.
Directing Lady Parts was and will probably continue to be one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life.
If you’re going through something hard, make art about it.
Even if you’re not an “artist”, the catharsis that comes from creation is something unmatched. I’m so happy to have been on this journey and I can’t wait for more people to see our film!
– Nancy Boyd
P.S. Check out Lady Parts on their website and on Instagram.
