When I was younger, my sister noticed that I liked to spend time laying on the couch and contemplating life. (She called me lazy for it, but the impacts of that are a story for another day.)
My philosophizing teenager self created a note on my phone called ‘Thoughts of the Day’ and in it, I would write ideas that I had or memorable sayings I heard.
Usually what I considered wisdom about life!
There were some meaningful song lyrics sprinkled in there..
And sometimes painful words I was told that a masochistic part of me didn’t want to forget – so I can continue to hold a grudge and to feel the pain of them every time I glanced back.. Until I decided it was enough.
Want to hear the first note? (I felt your inner nod!)
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THAT’S THE THING ABOUT PAIN. IT DEMANDS TO BE FELT.
And it was only in the last year that I really got what this means..
In order for you to process the pain of the past, you must feel it. Pain demands to be felt.
The only way to heal is to feeeel!
So my invitation is develop the skills to SAFELY do what younger me had the intuition to do – go back and feel the pain of the past. Feel the words that were said to you that left a mark. Go back to the pain and process it..
Because if you don’t, it’ll keep living there, in the notes app of your being!
And WHEN you decide it’s enough, when the pain has been felt thoroughly and it no longer stings (in fact maybe you find the paradoxical pleasure in it).. Then my darling, set it aside from your awareness.
And never look back unless it’s to marvel at the beauty of the lesson it presented and to applaud yourself for letting it go.
– Katrin, with Love
