Those ‘Dark’ Sexual Desires

We ALL have different parts of ourselves that want to come out and play! 😈 🖤

To be experienced freely.

Our nervous systems are WIRED differently to finding safety and then turn-on… 

That’s why each of us craves unique kinds of arousal styles, types of touch and even language for turn-on! And no ONE preference is inferior to another.

🧖‍♀️ 🕯 Some of us absolutely NEED relaxing music and a massage before we have our genitals touched. In fact, having our genitals touched TOO early can be a turn-off! (Could also lead to a freeze response.)

Some of us would have no patience for a massage and would just want to ‘get it on’! And leave the massage for later..

And as you’ve likely experienced, mismatches of these preferences can bring on a slew of challenges in a relationship..

Yet another category of us need a sense of INTENSITY to achieve turn-on. 

Intensity helps us relinquish the control that we’re used to holding onto. To become SO present in the moment that we can surrender to pleasure. 🤤 


We have been conditioned by society as to what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. What sex SHOULD look like. 

For example, intense play (like dominance and submission) has been labelled as an underground activity that only the ‘wild’ red-light-district-type ‘rebel’ community prides itself in. ⛓ 

In most circles, BDSM is a dirty word.

So naturally, anyone who finds this sort of play exciting is led to think that their desires are ones to be ashamed of. 🙊 😥

But this path to turn-on SIMPLY adds a much desired intensity to an experience! The shame ASSOCIATED WITH IT is the problem! 

It’s time to embrace ALL parts of yourself that want to be expressed. 

Perhaps a naughty costume, in public or in private, is the perfect place to start. 😁

– Katrin, with Love